It’s confession time. I’m coming out of the closet with some of my iPhone apps. They’re cheesy. They’re lame. They’re downright fun — just don’t tell anyone you have them. Unlike other lists like this on the Web, this list is actually real: I do have these apps on my phone. And yes, in some cases I did pay money for these. Here we go:
Yo Mama: Free
Cost: $0.00
Of all the guilty pleasures, this one likely takes the cake. The app is exactly what you think it might be: A joke generator for the granddaddy of all joke-types: The Yo Mama joke. With an super easy interface, Yo Mama allows you to quickly generate a joke on the fly in a number of categories:
Yo Mama so fat …
Yo Mama so stupid …
Yo Mama so poor …
Yo Mama so old …
Yo Mama so ugly …
Yo Mama so ? …
That last one is a random “other.” For the purposes of this post, I just generated one to give you an example, and it came up with: “Yo Mama’s so greasy, her freckles slipped off.”
I’m almost embarrassed to think about how much time I’ve killed going through these jokes. And you know you’re hooked when someone rips you a fresh insult and the first thing that pops into your mind is not a snappy comeback, but the idea, lemme-get-my-iPhone-out.-That’ll-show-‘em. Plus, being free, there’s really no reason not to get it. Just be forewarned that your mind will melt with unedifying “Yo Mama” cracks.
I Am T-Pain
Cost: $2.99
Oh, would to the stars that I had never bought this. But I did in a huge moment of weakness. The I Am T-Pain app is pretty straight forward. Wanna sing like you’re a robot with an effeminate voice? Then this is for you. Simply start it up and record away. 
After you’re done, you can save your sound clip online, and even post it automatically to Facebook or Twitter. Let the embarrassing moments ensue.
Now, I will confess my cultural irrelevancy: I’m not really familiar with T-Pain’s music. I KNOW. How lame am I, right? I guess I’m just too white. But I know enough to know T-Pain’s voice when I hear it in the mall, and this app is good for so many gags, it’s just too good to keep to myself. This app’s highlight came when it had myself, Brandon Godwin, and David Ruse all in a room whipping out a parody for Dan Rundle in honor of the birth of his new daughter, Claire. Was it good times? Absolutely. Will I post the link online so you can hear it? Absolutely not.
Aardvark
Cost: $0.00
Ever want to just throw a question out to the masses? Something like, “What’s the meaning of life?” Or maybe you’re traveling in Atlanta and you’re lost: “I’m at 2235 Peachtree St. How do I get to the Coca-Cola Museum?” Aardvark is there to help. It’s a full social network application that allows people to openly ask questions on a given subject, and let people the world over answer.
Think of it like Facebook meets PHPBB forums. Your questions can be much more focused, and only people who are “experts” or “fans” of a particular question can see it and answer.
So where does the guilty pleasure come in? Well, what makes Aardvark unique to me is that, when I’m stuck in the car with the kids while my wife runs into the grocery store, many times it’s not Twitter or Facebook I go to first, nor Lemonade Tycoon or Pandora. It’s Aardvark, and somehow that just doesn’t seem natural.
But it doesn’t make it any less true.
