Last night, Stephan and I got together with some friends. The common link in these friendships is shared work history at a camp in California (well, everyone except for Stephan). After leaving, I reminisced about several memories I had from my time there, and this morning I remembered another story as I was preparing to write the blog:
Meals were conducted family style at this particular camp, and usually the dining room served just the right amount of servings when the food was first passed out. If there were 10 people at a table, they got 10 hamburger buns, 10 hamburger patties, 10 tomatoes. You get the idea. Counselors were typically encouraged to pass the plate to the campers and take whatever was left on the plate when it made it back around to them. I usually told my kids to take one of something or a small serving so that everyone could get a little on the first go around. After that, we could always get seconds or thirds for everyone at the table.
I remember one particular counselor who passed his serving dishes but never actually communicated his expectations to his campers. He expected eight year-olds to know instinctively that they should be unselfish in their portions and pass the plates after serving themselves. Obviously, chaos ensued. Some kids took three hamburgers, and some would take their food and keep the serving dish in the same place–so whoever was next couldn’t get any food since the plate was out of their reach, and the person who had just served himself was busily eating his food. We only had 30 minutes to eat, so it became imperative that everyone focused on getting their food and eating it.
One day, I watched the same routine happen again and noticed that instead of realizing that he should communicate what was to happen, this counselor went through the same scenario of getting frustrated and yelling in increased tones, “Pass the Plate!” Then instead of just one frustrated counselor, there were several frustrated campers, since the expectation had never been communicated. Sure, they could have guessed it or come to some conclusion, but they needed to be told.
Communication is such a vital part of any job that I’m often astounded at how much work still needs to be done on my communication technique–I feel like I’ve been working at it for so many years already! It’s always evolving, and I should adapt my communication style to fit the needs of my clients and of those in the office. Often though, instead of seeing my communication as an outside observer would, it can become easy to yell “Pass the Plate!” and smugly think to myself, “They just don’t get it!” Instead, I am learning to be more aware of the expectations I am communicating–not to mention constantly aware of my clients and coworkers perceptions of my expectations. When review and adjustment become routine, serving the food at mealtime will go much more smoothly.
